Bad leaders lose good people. I’ve read this quote somewhere, probably on LinkedIn. And I couldn’t agree more. I thank bad leaders for teaching me what not to do as a manager.
Fourteen years in the corporate world have exposed me to good and bad bosses. Work can be bearable if you have a good work environment. That’s why it’s important when finding a job to not just pray for the pay; pray for your future boss too.
Not that ranking matters, but I have been in the rank-and-file position for the most part of my career so I have a heap of experience as a mentee. I’m very observant and have stayed long on the receiving end.
I am now leading a team and I still have a long way to go so I tweak my methods from time to time. I have to make sure to not let my team experience what I experienced from my ex-bosses (direct and indirect) who made me realize that leadership is not really for everyone.
Are you in your early days of starting and scaling a team? Allow me to share my notes with you on the lessons I’ve learned from bad leadership experiences.
Do not yell at your employees
I was almost embarrassed by a stakeholder who was yelling at the office, and lashing out while approaching my desk. Good thing I was not in the office and I was tipped by my officemates to stay where I was because she was cursing loudly at me for a mistake I didn’t make. If there’s a miscommunication, managers should be the bigger person and come up with a resolution rather than resort to verbal violence.
Less lip work, more hard work
This is the bad version of ‘fake it till you make it’. I’ve worked with a leader who does more lip service with little to no effort. Assurance without action is nothing like an empty bottle. I would love to see my leader setting an example. What I’ve learned from this scenario is to match up all my lip work with hard work to inspire my team to move. If I say move with urgency, I make sure I exemplify agility. Whatever you ask your team to do, it’s best if you do it first. Be one with the team. Show that there’s parallel effort.
Communicate better and do health checks
Complaints happen if we don’t communicate well. At some point, I am partially guilty of this. Employees are often rattled because managers like us fail to give them a clear rationale or context behind our decisions. Some issues can be mitigated if we check on our employees and make sure they are acknowledged. But this is two-way though. Employees should also not be afraid to assert when situations go awry. The people that you manage have the right to ask or to question.
I remember I had an event before and there was a miscommunication with my boss. I was frustrated because she was flooding me with a lot of pressure and didn’t even check first if we were okay. So I’ve learned that ‘Are you okay?’ goes a long way. I was also at fault when this happened because I didn’t tell my boss what was happening on the ground. The situation could have been mitigated had I told her earlier about our needs. From that day forward, I’ve learned to be transparent with all the bosses that I’ve worked with when things are off. But at the same time, as a leader now, I make sure I check on my employees.
Employees also appreciate open communication. One of the good things that I’ve learned from my previous boss (I’ll write an article about the things I’ve learned from my good leaders too lol) was the way she makes us feel that it’s okay to open up my feelings to her. “Being a manager is [sometimes] a sad place to be,” she said. I appreciate that up to this day.
Do not discriminate
Always practice fairness because being the subject of discrimination is traumatic. I experienced this a lot of times as someone who looks different. I did a lot of client pitches as an account person. There was a time when I almost lost an account just because stakeholders thought that I didn’t fit the industry. This is despite the fact that these were the clients I worked with for the longest time, whom I didn’t have any issues with. I was just blessed that my clients valued my service, versus uncalled-for external (discriminating) factors. Some HR job postings have an end note that they advocate equality, I hope that it’s really true.
Practice what you preach
In the age of influence, people often post a narrative that they don’t even practice. If you advocate empowerment, body positivity, and mental health, practice what you preach. If you claim to be a poster girl of authenticity, the people around you, even behind the scenes, should be able to vouch for you. Check my previous point.
Practice self-awareness, you don’t know it all.
One of my pet peeves is people who are not aware of the things they need to improve on. Being self-reliant doesn’t always do you good. At the same time, it’s okay that other people are better than you. We don’t have to feel defensive about it. Improvement comes when we’re aware of our limitations and if we have the humility to accept that. In my brainstorming with the team, I always tell them to challenge my ideas because… I don’t know it all.
Micromanaging kills morale
If you read Marc Randolph’s Netflix That Will Never Work and Reed Hastings and Erin Meyer’s No Rules Rules, you’ll be amazed at the culture that Netflix champions: Freedom and Responsibility.
While we owe it to our boss to report regularly, empowerment comes when we trust our team more. But I also take this with a grain of salt because people have to earn our trust too before we give them the perks.
I resonate with Netflix’s culture. When my ex-boss started to train me as a future leader, I remember her giving me more freedom to approve other workmates’ work and strategize my own pitches. She also respected my work dynamic — that I do more work at home or outside the office. Employees have their own work dynamics and this is a change that management has to take note of. Even pre-pandemic, I always knew that environment was a huge factor for me when working. I appreciate my boss for respecting my work dynamic. But I had to earn that perk so I delivered more. That’s why it’s freedom and responsibility.
P.S. I micro-manage only when the situation calls for it, but it’s not my favorite style as it kills morale.
Be logical, nothing personal
When things get personal, the situation gets messy. There’s the thing that we call nepotism that often clouds leaders’ judgment. One time, my team had to do things that we were apprehensive about doing but we had to soldier through because we were victims of nepotism (and miscommunication too). With that as an example, I’ve learned to not let personal agendas enter my workplace because it would make me less logical.
On a different scenario: In my years as a manager, I tend to be emotional about things that I failed to decide based on logic. I let emotions get the better of me. There has to be a perfect balance between logic and emotion.
Do not overwhelm yourself. Delegate.
One of my co-managers who’s based in Indonesia told me that her best asset as a manager is that she delegates well and she delegates rightly. I am guilty of this. Not because I don’t trust my team. My intention is to move things faster. In the spirit of urgency, I take on more tasks to save time. I’d rather overwhelm myself than my team. But I realized this is not good and sustainable. At one point, I thought this was bad leadership, so I had to pivot. You see, there was bad leadership I’ve learned even from my own leadership style and work behavior. Tehee.
Do not tolerate bad leaders
Tolerating bad leaders (or even bad employees) hurts the organization’s growth and pushes good employees to resign. This is a common scenario that I have seen in my past jobs, especially in big organizations. Employees escalate concerns, often with the right intentions, until they give up because the management fails to act on them. I don’t take feedback lightly and I have to make sure to champion my self-made PR principle that may also be applicable as a leader — the 4As: Acknowledge. Apologize. Assure. Act (on it).
Leadership drives corporate culture. Gone are the days when workers are bound with this old-school narrative – that’s what you’re paid to do. It is what it is. But work now has become more collaborative. People now work WITH YOU, not FOR YOU. And people are well aware of how 9–5, an activity that occupies most of your day, can impact one’s mental bandwidth.
Your leadership should not be the cause of someone’s mental health struggles and emotional paralysis.
Things to note though: not all bad leaders are bad people. Leadership is not for everyone but that doesn’t make them bad people, too. It’s also nice to give someone a chance especially if they’re new managers. We are all a work in progress. I have my lapses too. And I hope this article reaches them so we all can do better next time.
I had a boss who was very skilled but lacked empathy during her first few years with us; she eventually improved because she listened. We learn from our failures. So… there’s hope.
Lastly, be human, and be humane.
Curious about my past jobs? Visit my LinkedIn page here. Let’s connect. Share this and tag someone who needs to read this.
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Disclaimer: Real-life scenarios are mentioned for the purpose of learning. I don’t mean to offend anyone. I don’t hold grudges. And I don’t take things personally. I just learn from them. The way we accept leadership styles may also be subjective based on personal preference and personality.
